Okay, we get it. You play hockey. Well you still suck. I actually fell asleep during overtime this afternoon (naturally, its hockey) and had a dream the boys in Black and Gold laced up their skates and dominated the shit out of your gold medal squad. And hell if Vandy's starting 5 didn't make the U.S. proud. Beal and Tinsley proved to me they can straight up dangle, and Crosby ain't got shit on Jenkins -- number 23 spotted up from 20 feet away and scored the game winner in overtime. Wait it was just a dream? I don't care. Give us a puck, ice, and some size 49 skates for My Boy Festus and I guarantee we run with Canada everyday of the week, 24/7, 365 -- 366 on a leap year. Because that's what Stallings does. He molds champions. Its no coincidence gold signifies the highest standard of athletic achievement.
Gimme dat, dat, dat Gold
P.S. Canada is lucky our fearless founder Cornelius Vanderbilt was generous enough to donate some of his gold so the Olympic Committee could even make these medals. Old Cornelius wiped his ass with maple leafs.
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